Real Men, Real Role Players, Loonies, Psychos, Munchkins:

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Real Men, Real Role Players, Loonies, Psychos, Munchkins:

Post by jayphailey » Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:08 am

Inspired by

http://firedrake.org/roger/rpg/munchkin.html

http://dragon.facetieux.free.fr/jdr/Munchkin.htm


Real Men, Real Role Players, Loonies, Psychos, Munchkins:

Characters -
Real Men: Captain, Security Chief, Chief Engineer
Real Role Players: Chief Science Officer, Chief Medical Officer, Counselor.
Loonies: Janitor, Bellhop, The Tomato Creature from Dark Star
Psychos: The Chief Intelligence Officer, The Counselor.
Munchkins: Admiral of Starfleet, promoted after years of being Starfleet's Deadliest Assassin.

Ships
Real Men: Constitution class, Sovereign class
Real Role Players: Galaxy Class, Nova Class, old beat up Space station on the frontier
Loonies: a '68 Chevy Impala Low-rider, An Impulse Engine and some handlebars
Psychos: A diplomatic shuttle, and a ride on the Real Man's ship, an infiltration ship, with stealth coating.
Munchkins: The Death Star, refit to be *really* dangerous.

Era
Real Men: TOS
Real Role Players: TNG or Early DS9
Loonies: the 1770s.
Psychos: Along as there are innocents around, it's immaterial.
Munchkins: Late DS9 when the ships are toughest.

When faced with a Klingon Warrior

Real Men: Stands his ground knowing that the Klingon will respect bravery and solid fight.
Real Role Players: Talk to the Klingon to find out what he wants. Hoping to find some way to avert the fight.
Loonies: yell "Daaarrrrllliiiinnnnggggg! I thought you'd never arrive!"
Psychos: Stay quiet but whisper to the Klingon about the betrayal of the other PCs.
Munchkins: Try to bully the Klingon.

When Facing a Klingon Battle Cruiser
Real Men: Stands his ground knowing that the Klingon will respect bravery and solid fight, and that his ship generally outguns a Klingon battle cruiser,
Real Role Players: Talk to the Klingon to find out what he wants. Knowing that if a Klingon Battlecruiser is bracing a Federation Starship, then there must be a crisis brewing somewhere.
Loonies: Hail the ship and yell "I'll paint any battle cruisers anywhere for 199.95, no ups, no extras!!", put the bridge behind a small asteroid and assume that if he can't see the Klingon, the Klingon can't see him.
Psychos: create an elaborate message warning of treachery on the part of who ever is handy.
Munchkins: Try to bully the Klingons.

When Facing a Cunning Romulan Commander
Real Men: Stands his ground, and covers his back.
Real Role Players: talk to the Romulans knowing that what he says are at best half truths but hoping they can figure out the rest in time to get ahead.
Loonies: Sing "We represent the Lollipop guild!" or pretends he doesn't see the Romulan blaming that "blasted cloaking device"
Psychos: Smile evilly knowing he has met a kindred spirit.
Munchkins: Try to bully the Romulan.

When beaming down to a new world, he carries
Real Men: A phaser, a tricorder, and a type 1 phaser slipped in his boot.
Real Role Players: A Phaser, a tricorder, a hat, a canteen, a Swiss Army knife, as well as appropriate tools for his job.
Loonies: Water wings, dance shoes, and a top hat
Psychos: a phaser, a tricorder and agonizer slipped up his sleeve.
Munchkins: Two Phaser rifles, a photon mortar, and an open communicator to call in fighter strikes and ground fire from the Death Star.

When a red shirt gets killed on the landing mission.
Real Men: Stays on his toes. Things have just gotten "interesting"
Real Role Players: Mourn the loss of a true comrade.
Loonies: Cry "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!" or rename the hapless crewman "Bernie" and carry him around for the rest of adventure trying to pretend he's still alive.
Psychos: Probably did it, but take the poor red shirt's wallet anyway.
Munchkins: Snort "That's what you get for being weak, mortal!"

When captured by Beautiful Ruler of the Amazon world
Real Men: Relaxes knowing that his manliness will overwhelm at least one of the Amazon Queens trusted Lieutenants, if not the Amazon Queen herself.
Real Role Players: Talk to the Amazons trying to find out *Why* they feel the way they do and empathizes with them.
Loonies: Yells "Giiiirrrrrrlllllssss! EEWWW!" and spends the rest of the time digging in the medikit for hypospray against kooties. Or he becomes a cross dressers and joins the other side.
Psychos: Say "You're right. We were out to get you all along."
Munchkins: Disintegrates the entire Amazon Capital with his hold out megaphasers.

When confronting the insane Admiral with the Evil Scheme
Real Men: Deck him starting a fierce hand to hand combat.
Real Role Players: Talk to the Admiral trying to get him to see the once good man who still lives inside him.
Loonies: Pretends not to speak English.
Psychos: Critique the Admiral's Evil Scheme with or without a numeric score. Offer helpful suggestions, ask to become trusted Lieutenants
Munchkins: Disintegrates the Admiral in a single flash from his holdout megaphaser and snorts "That's what you get for being weak, mortal!"

When Confronting a Ship full of Tribbles
Real Men: Sighs, and painfully holds on to his dignity while picking up tribbles.
Real Role Players: Thinks the tribbles are too cute, and tries to keep one starting the mess over again.
Loonies: Uses them as paint brushes for a daring new psychedelic paint job for the ship.
Psychos: Says "Lunch time! Klingons Eat for free!"
Munchkins: Finds a way to invent a Tribble firing gun that will penetrate any shields hand has infinite ammunition.

When Affected by the Psi-2000 virus
Real Men: Admits that all he's ever really wanted was a tall ship and a Star to Steer her by.
Real Role Players: Tearfully Admits that all he ever really wanted was to be loved.
Loonies: Admits that all he ever really wanted was mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Psychos: Tearfully admits that all he ever really wanted was the Real Man bound in chains and leather, at his mercy.
Munchkins: "Yeah, right, whatever." and reads a comic book through this part of the adventure.

When all seems lost
Real Men: Launches a desperate counter attack.
Real Role Players: Tries a desperate ploy, often involving techno-babble
Loonies: Leaps out of the airlock and pulls the rip cord on his parachute.
Psychos: Kills and tortures the rest of the PCs. After all, he was going to do it anyway.
Munchkins: Activates the Death Star's Super-duper transformation powers.

---- Some acquired from the Trek RPG list-------------

> I thought them up myself. Could you tell?

> Characters
> Real Men: Play as Captain, Chief of Security, or Klingon
> Real Roleplayers: Science Officers, Ops, and CMO
> Loonies: Play as Neelix
> Munchkins: Play as Borg, but forget that the Borg have no free will.

> Favorite Ships
> Real Men: Like Defiant & Sovereign classes
> Real Roleplayers: Oberth, so he can think his way through combat
> Loonies: Delta Flyer with "Born to Raise Hell" spraypainted along the
> side.
> Munchkins: Borg Cubes, Spheres, Kazon Battleships, and the like

> Weapons
> Real Men: Bat'leths or compression phaser rifles
> Real Roleplayers: Type 1 Phasers and Lirpa
> Loonies: Neelix's cooking
> Munchkins: Really frickin' big cannons

> Favorite Movies
> Real Men: First Contact & ST2
> Real Roleplayers: Insurrection & ST3
> Loonies: The part in Generations when Data says "Oh shit."
> Munchkins: Too busy watching clips of Defiant blowing stuff up

> Favorite Series
> Real Men: TOS
> Real Role-players: TNG
> Loonies: VGR
> Munchkins: The one with the most gratuitous destruction

> Favorite Guest Star in an Adventure
> Real Men: Chancellor Martok
> Real Role-players: Spock!
> Loonies: Seven of Nine and an entourage of Orion Animal Women
> Munchkins: As above, with the Borg Queen added

> Favorite PC Race
> Real Men: Klingons
> Real Role-players: Vulcans
> Loonies: Rigellian Snow Rhinos
> Munchkins: Borg...as if they had any sense of originality, either one
> of them.

-----------And another


> Real Men: The guy who, while fighting against a Borg fleet in a
> Defiant class ship, grabs the manual control (á la ST:INS) and sends
> the Borg exactly one message: "Come and get some."

> Real Roleplayers: The kind of player who negotiates with everyone,
> and Always brings up the Prime Directive, even if the group is only
> trying to decide whether or not to have lunch together.

> Loonies: The kind of player who goes “Gooka, Gooka, Gooka!” during
> First Contact, just to annoy the Universal Translator.

> Munchkins: The kind of player who,..... you usually don’t bother
> with.

> Favorite Position Onboard A Ship

> Real Men: Security (Maybe Command, but then a background in
> Security)

> Real Roleplayers: Medical

> Loonies: Hitchhiker

> Munchkins: Command, preferably head of fleet

> Favorite Assignment in A Group

> Real Men: XO

> Real Roleplayers: Doctor or Counselor

> Loonies: Starfleet’s one and only Dodo expert.

> Munchkins: Head of all and everything that exists

> Favorite Rank
> Real Men: Commander

> Real Roleplayers: Lt. (working on being promoted to Lt. Comm.)

> Loonies: demoted Ensign
> Munchkins: Admiral, currently working as Captain (without being
> demoted)

> Favorite Quotes
> Real Men: Let’s get it on!

> Real Roleplayers: But what about the Prime Directive, sir?

> Loonies: Pull my finger!

> Munchkins: Whaddaya mean, my skills can’t have two digits? I’m
> limited to a level of just 9?

> Favorite Race To Play

> Real Men: Human

> Real Roleplayers: Any combination of those: Betazoid, Centauran,
> Human, Vulcan

> Loonies: Tribble/Pakled

> Munchkins: Q

> Favorite Ship

> Real Men: Defiant

> Real Roleplayers: Any prototype

> Loonies: Big dimensional shifting bubble, capable of Warp speed, I
> call it: Poochie!

> Munchkins: Sovereign, refit for invasion of the Delta Quadrant

> Favorite Adversaries

> Real Men: Klingons

> Real Roleplayers: Tal Shiar, The Obsidian Order and Section 31

> Loonies: One Klingon Glob Fly

> Munchkins: The Jem Hadar, all of them at once.

> Favorite TV Character To Appear In Adventure... err.. Episode

> Real Men: Kirk, Sisko, Riker

> Real Roleplayers: Spock, Picard, Holodoc

> Loonies: Wesley Crusher

> Munchkins: Godzilla

> Actions In Phaser Combat

> Real Men: Orders "Set Phasers on Stun!" and "Fire at will!"

> Real Roleplayers: Negotiates, and if it fails, tricks the enemy into
> Thinking there is no use in firing phasers.

> Loonies: Rolls up in a fetal position, humming "What’s the phaser
> frequency, Kenneth?"

> Munchkins: Armed with 2 Phaser Rifles set on "Disintegrate", he
> blasts everything he sees out of existence.

> About The (LUG Trek) Rules

> Real Men: Space Combat sucks!

> Real Roleplayers: Boldly goes where no man has ever needed rules
> before!

> Loonies: Rolls himself.

> Munchkins: Cheats anyway.

> Favorite Setting

> Real Men: TOS, ‘nuff said!

> Real Roleplayers: TNG/DS9. Prior to the Dominion War. When the Tal
> Shiar and The Obsidian Order were a real threat.

> Loonies: Inside the center of the Galaxy, STV, anyone?

> Munchkins: On the surface of the Death Star.

> Favourite Star Trek Movies

> Real Men: ST-II:TWoK, ST-VIII:FC

> Real Roleplayers: No movie is as good as the series, well maybe
> STVI-TUC.

> Loonies: ST-IV:TVH, ST-IX:INS, and Dark Star

> Munchkins: Soldier

> Favourite Early Life Package

> Real Men: Failed Colony (a survivor from the start)

> Real Roleplayers: Academic Upbringing (I get arrogant at -1? Cool!)

> Loonies: Religious Upbringing (Scientology)

> Munchkins: Famous Parents (Kirk is my father and the female Q my
> mother)


> Favourite Academy Life Package

> Real Men: Advanced Tactical/ Intelligence

> Real Roleplayers: First Contact/ Intensive Theoretical Science

> Loonies: Colonization (Suburbs)

> Munchkins: All Of Them At Once

> Favourite Cadet Cruise (or How to spend just one DP)

> Real Men: Bold (+1)

> Real Rolepayers: Shrewd (+1)

> Loonies: Hypochondria, then Hides Emotions

> Munchkins: Promotion (+27) (it was a time loop!)

> Favourite Tour of Duty Package

> Real Men: Shakedown Cruise

> Real Roleplayers: Diplomatic Mission

> Loonies: Deep Space Exploration (Chinatown)

> Munchkins: Hostile Frontier Defense Mission (God knows mercy, but I
> don't!)


------ and another --------

> Also:

> Favorite Skill:

> Real Men: Unarmed Combat (Brawling), Energy Weapons (Compression
> Phaser)

> Real Roleplayers: Charm (Influence), Artistic Expression (Any)

> Loonies: Medical Science (Quantum Proctology), Language: Tamarian

> Munchkins: Starship Tactics (Orbital Bombardment)

> Favorite Advantage:

> Real Men: Battle-Hardened

> Real Roleplayers: Ally

> Loonies: Medical Remedy--Neutronium Fillings

> Munchkins: Weapon Master

> Favorite Disadvantage:

> Real Men: Physical Impairment--(anything battle-scarish)

> Real Roleplayers: Code of Honor--Starfleet

> Loonies: Species Enemy--Corvan Gilvos

> Munchkins: Intolerant--All Life

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Post by JM1776 » Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:29 am

Though I've seen those before, they're still worth another read. What a scream.

I seem to possess elements of all five types. 8)
Compare the behavior of Naomi Osaka and Serena Williams, then tell me who's the real champion.

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Post by CaptainKirkFan » Sat Sep 01, 2007 12:29 pm

JM1776 wrote:Though I've seen those before, they're still worth another read. What a scream.

I seem to possess elements of all five types. 8)
Me too :P
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Post by RichMerk » Sat Sep 01, 2007 2:14 pm

I'm definitely a Real Man, with a little Real Roleplayer thrown in.

Who would've guessed? :)

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Post by Craz » Sat Sep 01, 2007 2:29 pm

I'm a Real Roleplayer, with a tiny bit of Real Man tossed in. Now I can call the bad applications I get munchkins...another insult. :)
"Well, they told us to make a musical about the Silicon Valley. It was either the Winchester Mystery House, or computers, in the end. Somehow, I didn't see Bill Gates doing jazz tap and singing." -On [i]The Haunting of Winchester[/i]

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Post by JM1776 » Sat Sep 01, 2007 5:30 pm

RichMerk wrote:I'm definitely a Real Man ... :)
I have, at this juncture, decided to show restraint. :twisted:
Compare the behavior of Naomi Osaka and Serena Williams, then tell me who's the real champion.

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Post by jayphailey » Sat Sep 01, 2007 8:06 pm

I am all over the place on this list, topo, although I seem to have More looney than most people would like.

Jay ~meow!~

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Post by Hyperion » Sun Sep 02, 2007 1:12 pm

I'm a split between Real Man and Real Roleplayer, with a little bit more Munchkin than I'd like thrown in. :D

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Post by RIP » Sun Sep 02, 2007 3:07 pm

I'm definately a real Role-Player. I would only once choose Real men, and that is with the job *S*.
Life is very similar to boxing. Defeat is not declared when you fall down. It's declared when you can no longer get up.

Some people just want to watch the world burn... not because of the pretty colors but because after the fire, there comes rejuvination.

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Post by jayphailey » Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:41 am

So, what has been a time when you put one of these styles to work in a game.

Battlecry:
Real Men: "Come get some!"

Real Role Player: "Come, Villain! Will you walk?"

Loonies: "SPPOOOON!"

Psychos: "Women and Children First!"

Munchkins: "Tee hee I get to use my +5 vorpal phaser rifle of smiting!"

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Post by RIP » Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:19 pm

Come, Jason, enlighten us to Famous Last Words!
Life is very similar to boxing. Defeat is not declared when you fall down. It's declared when you can no longer get up.

Some people just want to watch the world burn... not because of the pretty colors but because after the fire, there comes rejuvination.


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Post by RIP » Tue Sep 04, 2007 12:21 am

I meant famous last words for Real Men, Real Role Players, Loonies, Psychos and Munchkins.

But these links are funny!
Life is very similar to boxing. Defeat is not declared when you fall down. It's declared when you can no longer get up.

Some people just want to watch the world burn... not because of the pretty colors but because after the fire, there comes rejuvination.

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