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TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters (DONE)

 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 3:50 pm 
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David Porter class it is.

Now someone just needs to design it...

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:35 pm 
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I'm working on the story's climax, which should be ready to post in a day or two.

Watch this space.

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:29 pm 
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And here, as promised, is the climactic scene...

Quote:
Captain’s Log, Stardate: 65823.6

With the arrival of the Kumari, Espero and Hammersley, we’re as prepared as we can be to face the approaching Tzenkethi.

We’ve identified nearly thirty raiders, supported by six capitol ships, one of which is a carrier. Per standing orders, Captain Picard remains in overall command.

Leaving Commander Thivan in command of Marshal Martz, I have elected to lead the combined embarked craft in a second-line defense, with the Intaran air forces providing a last line within the atmosphere…




Jean-Luc Picard sat in his chair, watching the approaching Tzenkethi ships.

“No response to hails, Captain,” Lt. Parker reported from her place at the starboard tactical console. Worf, as was his prerogative as First Officer, manned its twin on the starboard side of the bridge, leaving the seats on either side of the captain’s chair empty.

“Keep trying, Mr. Parker. Mr. Worf, target that carrier’s power relays. If they can’t open their shuttlebays, they can’t launch fighters.”

“Target locked, Sir,” the Klingon replied.

“Anything?”

“Still nothing, Sir.”

“Open a channel.”

“Channel open.”

“Tzenkethi flagship, this Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise. This system is under Federation protection. Leave now or you will be fired on.”

The ship rocked under the barrage unleashed by the Tzenkethi raiders as they accelerated past.

“Well, I guess that’s their answer. All ships, open fire!”

Hammersley and Espero are going after the raiders,” Worf reported.

“Very well. Concentrate on the carrier, while Marshal Martz and Kumari take care of the cruisers.”

“Aye, Sir.”



The ship rang with the impact of the Tzenkethi phasers against the ship’s armor.

“Armor integrity is at ninety-seven percent,” the marine at tactical reported.

“Continue phaser barrage,” Thivan ordered from the center seat. “Load a spread of transphasic torpedoes.”

“Our supply is limited, Commander.”

“I know, but we don’t have time for less.”

“Aye-aye. Transphasics loaded, full safeties.”

“Target their power converters and fire when ready.”

“Torpedoes away.”

On the forward screen, the five yellow-white torpedo trails flew true, each impacting a different cruiser, cutting through the Tzenkethi shields as if they weren’t there. Two of the cruisers exploded as the transphasic compression waves ruptured their antimatter stores, while the other four blossomed with explosions along their hulls. A moment later, a volley of white quantum torpedoes from Kumari impacted, doing additional damage.

“Two targets destroyed… three disabled,” the marine reported.

“Then let’s give Enterprise a hand,” Thivan answered. “Target phasers on that carrier. Let’s put her out of the action.”



“There are too many of them!”

“Too many, there may be,” Ikar replied, “but our best, we must do.”

Hammersley got another one!” Mundi reported from the science station.

“Doing well, Michael is.”

“Yes!” the helmsman called as the Espero’s pulse phasers scored a hit on another raider, taking the lightly-shielded craft out of the action.

Suddenly, the ship rocked with multiple phaser impacts.

“Two raiders, on our tail!”

“Shake them,” the Horrusi ordered.

“I’m trying, Captain.”

More impacts shook the little ship.

“Shield integrity is down to seventy-eight percent,” Mundi called. “We’re starting to take light damage.”

The first officer’s report was punctuated by a shower of sparks from various consoles.

“Make that heavy damage. They just scored a lucky shot on our main power converter.”

“I’m losing helm control!”

Hammersley, we must advise.”

“Shields are at fifty-seven percent and dropping.”

Hammersley’s coming around to help us.”



Mike McCune was in his element as he sat in the Hammersley’s captain’s chair, directing his ship’s attack on the Tzenkethi raiders while the larger ships took care of the supporting craft.

So far, the two Defiant class ships had taken out nearly a third of the raiders, but they’d both paid for it.

At the moment, Espero was paying a lot more. Several of the raiders had turned and were swarming the Federation destroyer.

“Target locked,” Jones reported.

“Fire.”

On the screen, bright yellow phaser pulses lanced out, overloading the shields on the Tzenkethi raider before them. As the phased energy touched the hull, explosions blossomed as if they had been planted by some demented farmer.

“His engines have failed.”

“Move on to the next one,” McCune ordered.

Espero just took another hit. Her engines are starting to go!”

McCune touched a button on the console next to him, opening a channel to the sister ship. “Ikar, we’re reading damage to your engines. What’s your status?”

“Much damage, we have, Michael, but holding our own, we are.”

“Well, hang on a bit longer. We’ve almost got the swarm off you.”



“Okay, everybody,” Harris called from the cockpit of his Gryphon class fighter, “it looks like the ships have taken care of most of the Tzenkethi, but we still have a dozen raiders coming in. Target their engines and power systems. Let’s go get them!”

As was his habit, Harris ordered the fighter’s computer to start a set of music to fight by. Mostly, it was the classical form known as ‘heavy metal’, with a bit of early 21st century dance mixed in. The first song was one of his favorites, and there was a near-feral grin on his face as the sound of Angus Young’s guitar filled his helmet.



An Rentoshi stood in the parade ground of the old citadel that the Starfleet people were calling FOB Gwalior. He’d been told that the name came from a similar citadel located in a place called India on the planet Earth. Rentoshi found it ironic, as Gwalior was also the name of a heroic warrior in one of the greatest Intaran legends.

Through the enhanced vision binoculars he’d been given, he could see the flashes of light that was the running battle and the shifting ID tags of the various ships.
Standing next to him and looking through his own set of EV binoculars, Lt. Commander Jeff Wilcox remarked, “It looks like the battle is winding down. I’m seeing only three… make that two raiders left.”

“It looks like Captain Harris got that last one with a pair of missiles.”

“Yes, Sir. He’s one of the best pilots I’ve ever met.”

Rentoshi looked away from the binoculars just long enough to glance at Wilcox. “Having second thoughts about your transfer, Commander?”

“Not really. It’s certainly been interesting, serving under him, but with the marines on board…”

“Understandable. I think we’ll work well together.” He chuckled. “I’ll have to introduce you to my daughter and her husband. They’ll probably use this assignment to nag me even more.”

“Well, that’s one thing you won’t have to worry about with us, General. Whoa… Speaking of marines, it looks like Ninja Girl got that one.”

Before he could ask Wilcox what he meant, Rentoshi heard a bleep from the headset he wore. Activating it, he answered, “Rentoshi, go ahead.”

“General Rentoshi,” Prime Councilor Kodo replied, “our scans show only one Tzenkethi raider remains. Do you concur?”

“I do, Prime Councilor.”

“Then it’s time for us to send our message.”



“Captain, we’re receiving a general hail from the planet. Prime Councilor Kodo.”

“Put it on screen, Lieutenant,” th’Nar ordered.

Instantly, the forward screen changed to show the face of the Prime Councilor.

“To all Tzenkethi vessels in the Intar system, this is Prime Councilor Aram Kodo, elected leader of the Intaran people. In the name of all who call this world home, you are ordered to cease fire. We have accepted the protection of the United Federation of Planets, and your presence will no longer be tolerated.

“Any Tzenkethi who seeks to steal from us will leave only with ashes, if he leaves at all. To prove our sincerity in this, you are invited to watch…”

The image changed to an aerial view of farmland covering several square kilometers.

“These are tanzila fields, containing plants rich in the compound that your biology turns into a drug. This is what you will find if you continue your raids.”

A moment of silence filled the gap between Kodo’s words and the appearance of a full squadron of Intaran bombers, each dropping dozens of canisters. As each canister impacted the ground, flames blossomed, spreading as the gelled fuel-air explosive splashed. Within seconds, the entire field was aflame, the fires consuming the ripe plants.

“Take this warning back to your government. We will go to any length, even invite global starvation, to deny you your drug.

“Leave now, and never return. If you remain, you will be destroyed.”


The image of the burning fields remained on the screen for several seconds before fading to black.

“Melodramatic,” Senek remarked, “but effective.”

“Effective, indeed. Were I a Tzenkethi, it would scare the hide off me. What’s that last raider doing?”

“He’s breaking off and heading back this way… and he’s lowered his shields.”

Th’Nar traded a small smile with his first officer. “He’s hauled down his flag.”

“It appears so.”

“Captain, the Tzenkethi carrier is responding to the Intarans’ message.”

“On screen.”

A moment later, the screen changed to show the heavily damaged bridge of the Tzenkethi vessel.

“I am Krethen,” the Tzenkethi standing at the center of the image said, “Admiral in service to the Autarch. Your message has been received and understood. You have become more trouble than your are worth, and I will report such to the Autarch. Whether we return or not will be his decision. But be warned. If we do return, no Intaran will be spared.

“To the Federation captains, I send my regards. You fought well, and I look forward to our next encounter. Krethen out.”


“Signal from Enterprise, Captain. We are requested to escort the carrier to the edge of the system before returning to Intar orbit.”

“Then that,” th’Nar remarked, “is what we shall do. Conn, let’s show Admiral Krethen the door.”

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:09 pm 
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Are you finished, or is there a denouement? I'll not start reading until I see, "Cut! It's a wrap!"

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:05 pm 
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I agree with Joe. I can't wait to see the ending because I would have to say that this is some of your best work, John. :]1 :]1 :/ :/

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:34 pm 
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There is a denouement, yes.

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:40 pm 
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Good.

Oh, and you've done great work with Ikar. Keep it up. :/

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:27 pm 
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AdmiralSirJohn wrote:
There is a denouement, yes.


Well, get on it. :wink:

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:28 pm 
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I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'...

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:03 pm 
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Would you be interested in a review of the entire piece, ASJ? If so, would you rather it be posted publicly or sent to you via PM? In addition, does a brief commentary or an extended, annotated evaluation suit your fancy?

Be warned: I am not unkind ... but I am not uncritical.

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:19 pm 
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You're certainly free to write whatever type of review you think it merits.

There are still two more scenes to the story, but the action is essentially complete.

As for posting it, I have no objection. I'm sure you wouldn't be the first to call it a piece of crap. ::fd::

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:55 pm 
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AdmiralSirJohn wrote:
I'm sure you wouldn't be the first to call it a piece of crap. ::fd::


My purpose would be to help you improve your craft, not run you down ... and, generally speaking, the phrase "a piece of crap" is not constructive.

I think any number of people who post here will assure you that while I'm a bit harsh, anyone who heeds me will improve as a writer.

I'll have at least a brief review in the days after you declare the piece complete.

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:02 pm 
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You did notice the smiley, right?

In any case, it'll be a few days. I have to go to Buffalo tomorrow to trade in these train tickets and pay the $30 difference for new ones... and that'll take six hours.

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:15 pm 
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AdmiralSirJohn wrote:
You did notice the smiley, right?


Indeed I did. I just know that certain internet denizens have nothing constructive to say ... and yet never STFU. Some of these enjoy reviewing fan fiction.

I was hoping you'd not previously run into one of those. I'd like to think you're not doing so, now, either.

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Last edited by JM1776 on Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: TALES OF THE MARSHAL MARTZ: Episode 12 - Size Matters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:15 pm 
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I know you better than that...

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