Playing the opposite sex..

[Chris_Carter]

OR you could just play along and give a flying to wheather other people think she's lesbian or not

For example, I play a female character that currently has a thing for her (male) XO. That XO is played by a woman (who is straight like I am). Nobody, including her husband and my fiancée, would assume we were kinda "reverse dating" each other. And neither did anyone question her sexual preference, when her XO dated another female char before, that was played by a woman.

I know, the US may be a bit more.. conservative (to say the least) about that, but you seriously wanna let other people limit you in your character choices, just because you or another player could be called a lesbian, even if they are not? What's so terrible about that?

[JM1776]

Hope you understand.

Understand that largely off topic ramble? That would require powers far beyond even mine.

[Ezri Dax]

OR you could just play along and give a flying to wheather other people think she's lesbian or not

For example, I play a female character that currently has a thing for her (male) XO. That XO is played by a woman (who is straight like I am). Nobody, including her husband and my fiancée, would assume we were kinda "reverse dating" each other. And neither did anyone question her sexual preference, when her XO dated another female char before, that was played by a woman.

I know, the US may be a bit more.. conservative (to say the least) about that, but you seriously wanna let other people limit you in your character choices, just because you or another player could be called a lesbian, even if they are not? What's so terrible about that?

Do know Ezri in the real world. Wished she did not bring it up but she did. When she does role play, she does spend a great deal of her free time into the project. As she would say, she has let to be banned because she is a lesbian but have been banned because she is a American a number of times. Knowing Ezri, she just does not want to spend time and energy just to be banned because she is a lesbian.

If you say limited her character, that would be the reason she does not want to be a male character as how does that male character act without building in any relationships.

[Chris_Carter]

She seriously got kicked of an RP because she's lesbian? Not because she yells it at everyone's face or because her RP-partner didn't get it was "only RP", but just because she IS the way she is? That's absurd.

And by the way, it is no reason to not play a male character in the future. If Ezri doesn't like it - well, okay then, just don't do it - but to tell anyone, that nobody could pull off opposite-sex-RP (as she did) is just wrong.

[Ezri]

She seriously got kicked of an RP because she's lesbian? Not because she yells it at everyone's face or because her RP-partner didn't get it was "only RP", but just because she IS the way she is? That's absurd.

And by the way, it is no reason to not play a male character in the future. If Ezri doesn't like it - well, okay then, just don't do it - but to tell anyone, that nobody could pull off opposite-sex-RP (as she did) is just wrong.

Chris_Carter:

You can say I was banned because I was a lesbian. There was a good friend of mine at the time, we were both lesbians and we did some role play sites. Then one day she started her own site up, we talked, and I joined. Told her I was going to tell people who I was, then she banned me from the site and block me on her IM. Few months went by, then we started talking after she closed down her site.

Do not have a problem with a woman that role plays as a man and a woman that role plays as a woman and they have a relationship. What some women would have a problem with, after a few weeks or months or role play you find out the other woman is a lesbian in real life. What I fear is, that she will get other members to her support and tell the Administrator to have me banned from the site or they are going to walk away. Think of the Administrators problem, lose 5 members and others will join, or ban 1 member and maybe someone will leave also. The Adminstrator can let one member leave but having 5 members leaving that could be the start of the ending of the site.

[Chris_Carter]

I still don't get the point. Do women in english-based RP really freak out, if they find out their RP-partner is homosexual?

I mean.. Would you freak out, if you found out, she was married? Or abstinent for personal and/or religious beliefs? I dare say: No, you wouldn't. So why would you, if your RP-partner is lesbian? I just don't get it.

In fact, my ex-CO is gay and he played a gay Captain as well as a straight security guard. No one cared...

@Your friend, that kicked you out: I think, she got a bit of a problem by herself. Maybe she was into you or she just didn't want you to be around other girls, who knew you were gay, or whatever.. but if a girl you have talked to a lot just kicks you out without giving reasons, there's a story behind it. Speaking from experience here...

[Ezri]

I still don't get the point. Do women in english-based RP really freak out, if they find out their RP-partner is homosexual?

Have been kicked out of chatrooms, and role play sites just because I was a American, nothing more then a American. If Administrators have a problem with Americans, I feel being a lesbian is more of a problem. Look, I take great pride in my characters, and I do not like them to die. How many times you been on a role play site and the Administrator just close it down just because he or she was sick of it? Do you not get upset your character is gone? Sure I can play a male character, I just do not want my character just dumped. I just do not want to take that risk of building a character and have it destroyed.

[Chris_Carter]

Okay, I think I'm gonna stop arguing here. Because I never - litterally never - was in a RP, those things were an issue. We had austrians, germans and swiss people, gays, lesbians and straight, young and old(er) men and women, etc... And the only group of people, that HAS been a problem is this one group called "jerks". Because you can be a jerk no matter your color (skin or political), your sex, your preferencec and so on.

But if that happens to you a lot, maybe my experience and observation from german RP sites just aren't applicable.

One important point, I want to make though: It is not impossible to play a character from the opposite sex or of different sexual preference than you are. May be you don't like it, can't do it or are afraid for it's aftermath - but it's not impossible (as you said it would be).

[Ezri]

One important point, I want to make though: It is not impossible to play a character from the opposite sex or of different sexual preference than you are. May be you don't like it, can't do it or are afraid for it's aftermath - but it's not impossible (as you said it would be).

Have found over the years, that a role play site is a power game. Have been on a site that the Administrator started up with steeling members from other sites. Only to run the site for a few weeks before they made a deal to make her a Global Moderator of a site she was on. The deal was she close down her site and bring the members over.

Lot of new sites are started up with stolen members, so there is alot of deal making going on. Some new sites start up with just the Administrator and begging for anyone to join.

When it is built with stolen members from a different site, lets make a deal is going on in privite messages or other ways to talk with each other. If that happens, someone is going to challenge the Administrator if there is say a lesbian character or the person in control of a character is really a lesbian. My point is, why get myself into the back room political contests of a role play site with being a male character that is being played by a real life lesbian when it does become public.

[Chris_Carter]

I'm sorry Ezri, but that has nothing to do with my point you quoted. I feel like I'm in a timeloop somehow, because I keep telling you, that it's not impossible and you keep telling me, why you don't want to do it. I think, we got our wires crossed (hope, that's the right idiom).

That the fact of a member being lesbian could be an argument in "politics" between different sites however is... very american. Sorry to say that, because it's a generalization and therefore not true with every US citizen, but it seems a lot like americans in general are a lot more homophobic than germans are. At least that's what i can tell from your stories...

[sirus]

As an American I can tell you that far more of us don't care that much about sexual orentation. The reason it looks like more do is because those that do tend to be the loudest and most controversial, and that gets them a lot of attention.


Now then back to the topic at hand. It seems to me that this discussion has basically amounted to the fact that some play the opposite gender well, others play the opposite gender poorly, and still others would never play the opposite gender.
It seems that now the topic of conversation has very little to do with the topic at hand, but rather the ethics and politics of certain role playing groups. I have never been a member of a group that had an issue with any members sexuality and in fact I'm a member of several groups (both table top and forum) that have many unique players all across the board for sexuality.

[Ezri]

As an American I can tell you that far more of us don't care that much about sexual orentation. The reason it looks like more do is because those that do tend to be the loudest and most controversial, and that gets them a lot of attention.

It would be best, to ask these questions from the players you say would not have a problem. Every role play site, has a OOC area you can talk about almost anything. Hope you find a positive outcome, because, I do not think you will.

[Chris_Carter]

@Sirius: I had that impression. That's why I said "at least that's what i can tell from your (e.g. Ezri's) storys". But thanks for clearing that up.

[Ezri]

This is my last post on this topic. If you do not like my arguments, fine.

[sirus]

This is my last post on this topic. If you do not like my arguments, fine.

It's not that I have a problem with your arguments. I simply fail to see what they have to do with the topic at hand. I understand that some role playing groups get a bit snippy about sexuality, but I have never been in one. Same sex relationships have come up in nearly every simm I have been on and the only thing ever said about it was "no sex scenes". The was never any question about the sexual orientation of the players.
In my view the actual sexual orientation of the player has little to do with the sexual orientation of the character. A straight male could play a gay male and vis versa.
To say that a man could not play a women is about the same as saying a man could not play a gay male. There is a level of difference between the two characters, but not in the player.

Also we have somewhat skipped the idea of a trans-gender player. Would it only be appropriate for such a person to play a trans-gender character or would they be able to play a male or female.
This topic is so much more than about sexuality. What it really boils down to in my mind is the question "is it possible to understand what motivates the opposite gender well enough to role play that gender?"
Based off of the comments in the thread thus far the answer seems clear.
Yes, but it takes a certain type of person to be able to do it well.

Ezri, please don't take this as a personal attack, I simply wish to keep this topic on topic and not go into the muddy waters of forum politics like every other thread about sexuality has.